Choose Yourself

At 5:30 a.m., my eyes open on their own, something that seemed impossible one year ago. I’ve always been a night owl, but lately my days are starting with an unexpected, newfound self-love. I toss in bed for what feels like hours before looking at my phone and getting up to use the bathroom.

It’s six o’clock. I scroll social media and slip on the red pair of shoes I keep next to the sink. Wandering into the laundry room, I start my workout. Forty minutes later, I grab my clothes out of the closet, turn on an audiobook, and hop in the shower. If you were to ask me if I ever thought this could be my life, I would have laughed in your face. It didn’t happen overnight, and it was never the goal.

May 18, 2025. I was scrolling on TikTok and an ad I'd seen a million times crept onto my FYP. I always watched the entire thing. The trainer had the body of a Greek statue and claimed I only needed two dumbbells and three days a week to do it. I hesitated for a moment before biting the bullet and doing a thirty-day trial. My logic was, "If I don’t keep up with it, I’ll cancel." I downloaded the app and slid out of bed. It was hard. I couldn’t finish the starter workout and had to complete it the next day. I was sore, but I noticed something.

After fifteen years of cigarettes and four years of vaping, it took me a few hours to realize I hadn’t hit my vape. This was a surprising outcome, my first official 'win,' and a reason to continue. Just two weeks in, I did my workout and managed to go the rest of the day without reaching for my vape. By the end of the free trial, I was feeling so good that I decided it was worth paying the thirty bucks each month for the virtual trainer, telling myself that it was the same price as a gym membership.

Stinky Socks by Panther Coin Laundry

Halfway through my second month, I was losing motivation after working my nine-to-five. I gave myself one week to try morning workouts, knowing I could always do it after work. Waking up at seven every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday was a chore, but I made myself do it, since I refused to waste the thirty dollars I paid for my subscription. This was also the time people started noticing that my body was changing. The positive reassurance fueled my motivation. Naturally, I started getting tired earlier, and about a month later, waking up at seven started to feel “right.”

At some point, I added a fourth day to do an extra ab workout, fixed my diet, and started listening to audiobooks religiously. By the time I’m done getting ready, I’ve made my way through a few chapters.

Now, I’ve been working out for thirty consecutive weeks and my eyes pop open between 5:30 and 6:00 every morning. Since I’m awake early with nothing to do, I started running on my "off days."

I had always been a night owl, so I assumed the early birds were wrong, built differently, or lying. Beyond vanity and a newfound love for my body, the effects have been monumental. The spark I thought I lost is starting to flicker again. I hate to admit it, but I’ve become one of “those people,” and working out in the morning changed my life. For me, self-love is taking forty minutes to prioritize my long-term well-being over everything else, and if you’re where I was, it’s time to choose yourself.